My Narcissists

Are Psychopaths, Narcissists and Selfish Assholes born or made?

I vote for made. Even though my Astroarchetypal perspective allows for pure destiny, I still cannot imagine a darling baby growing up to be a horror show without encouragement from family and friends.

Planets in Signs

These energies determine DNA – your hair color, your height, your physical attributes and your inherited tendencies. If you have inherited psychopathic tendencies, then this will need correcting by the house placements.

Planets in Houses

Houses  determine family and friends and our reactions to them; and let’s face it; born into “Duck Dynasty Clan” will produce a different result than born to “The Kennedy Clan.” Ivanka Trump would not be the same if she had been born here:

Modern Psychology breaks down various clinical features into ever more microscopic sizes, leaving us with clinical confusion. We are like the blind humuns touching different parts of an elephant and arguing over its true nature. So, what is the difference between a psychopath, a narcissist and a sociopath? The only difference is how you spell it. They are all the same self-aggrandizing knuckleheads that put loved ones in jeopardy and when pushed too far can be suicidal or murderous.

Destiny comes from the planets in signs, but if there is any free choice, it will come from Planets in Houses. In the houses we experience our environments. It works on us and we respond in various ways until we learn either to make our lives work or let circumstance get the best of us. There is no right or wrong; no blame intended and yet… we point, jeer and accuse the losers of being faulty.It can be green or an inedible brown and overripe, but either way, it’s still a banana.

Babies aren’t born assholes, but they quickly learn to be when raised by assholes. The young are wired to learn from mimicking. If the child does something a parent doesn’t like, the parent should look to herself for the correction, not the child.

In Modernia, one or two young people are tasked with raising a baby without the wisdom of the wise or the support of the loving. We throw young virgins to the wolves and young warriors into society without trusted council; without proper guidance; then we wonder what went wrong. We are the narcissists.

Young male elephants who cause trouble are sent to the male herd where the older males teach them how to behave. I agree that single mothering is a terrible idea; as do elephants.

My father was My First Narcissist’s Enabler.

I remember his kindness and warmth. His troops adored him and there was nothing he would not do for them. I remember the day when I wasn’t allowed to sit on his lap and hug him any more. She gave me “the look” and I had to stay away from him. I knew it was because of sex, but I was still so young that I didn’t know exactly what that was. My Narcissist would not allow me to get comfort from my dad and certainly not from her.

Mommie Not Dearest

This is My First Narcissist. She passed when I was 32.

For my first 30 years, my mother was my narcissist. Being raised by a narcissist, I was employed in the role of servant and complimenter. I cleaned up the house, brought drinks and ashtrays and congratulated her outfits as she went out the door. I don’t remember talking about anything with her, just being nearby, like an appendage hanging loosely in anticipation of the flexion of a muscle that would move me to a task. At age 54 my poor narcissist mother died of suffocation.

This was possibly an act of mercy by my father, who was scheduled to die in the previous year, but remained alive, just for her. I asked why he did not institutionalize her and he told me, “No one will be kind to her but me. I know she is gone, but I promised to be there for her and that is what I will do.” She died at the end of May, 1982, three days before my birthday. My father died six weeks later. He allowed himself to let go.

This is my Second Narcissist. She came into my life the year my First Narcissist Died.

For 30 years I nurtured my Narcissist. She called me and talked for hours. I would “ahem” and “uh huh” till I wanted to cry, but I was “being nice.” When it was time to leave her house or end a telephone conversation, she held on like a tar baby. It was always a victory to finally hang up the receiver; or start the engine of my car.

I took breaks now and then with distance protecting me from falling on her sword very often, but 26 years ago I moved to her city, upon her request. It was a horrible choice. I was insane to move there, into the desert, where I hated every baked minute. I would have moved to a kinder, greener place if left to my own devices, but she had a way of begging and urging that I found clinically irresistible.

Similarities between Plantina and Janet:

Look at hse 5 in both charts. Hse 5 is your children. Janet has a Virgo stellium, including Mars, in her 5th. She cannot resist the urge to critique her children mercilessly. Can’t help it. Plantina has North Node and Pluto in 5. Where Pluto lands, you are the Wicked Witch of the West and Pluto is the house that lands on you. Plutina’s idea of children is to blast them with all weapons to make them blossom in her preferences. And that is how she treated me; like her part time child.

The 5th hse belongs to Leo. This means pride and prejudice. I have said it for years, “There is nothing better than a self-aware Leo, and nothing worse than a clueless Leo.” Janet had 4 planets in Leo’s hse and Plantina had the North Node (destiny) and Pluto in there. Janet was a mean bitch and Plantina is a mean bitch.

Plantina

Of course she promised to help me, and of course her version of helping wasn’t very helpful and often harmful. It was more like the following:

And just like Charlie Brown, I made myself the offering to her gleeful withdrawal at just the right moment. She was calibrating her “carrot and stick” skills using me as the donkey, or ass, if you will. My children often commented on my assine association with her and I was always quick to allay their fears. “Oh she’s funny and fun and she loves me.”

Oh, and this  is me:

With Jupiter in Pisces at the top…

I am ready to take it for the team. Beggars in parking lots see my neon Jupiter logo and sprint across many lanes to get to me, knowing that I will give them my last dollar. Mars in Virgo is a born team player and natural OCD. The chart ruler is Mercury; in house 12 in Taurus. This says “Feelio” all over it. Then add the Moon/Neptune conjunction and it’s a wonder I can put on my own shoes.

Charlie Brown is most definitely my cartoon totem, and a Lucy can smell me a mile away. When she shows me her football I fall into a spell. I cannot resist.

There have been others. I gave up all relationships with men and only a few with women about 12 years ago. My best strength is knowing my weakness. There is also strength in knowing I can’t change the weakness, but in getting to know it, transmutation is possible. In this case my victimology transmutes into spiritual goals. With Pluto in hse3 square Mercury in hse 12, the theme of “deep study” goes around like a carousel. Mercury is chart ruler, so this kind of search is my life’s purpose. Studying Narcissists close up was part of my life’s work, I just did not know it. In the long run this study helped me love myself. As a child of verbal abuse, I needed release from the cruelty of a mother who was very ill. You can have freedom from the past if you study the houses where your planets lie. This I promise.

So, are Narcissists and Psychopaths just plain selfish assholes? I say Yes to that. And I say it is a Leonine disease. Which means, ultimately, it is a problem of the heart. When we shut down a child’s heart, we run the risk of having another shooter on our hands, or at the very least, someone who won’t let you get off the phone.

#5thhouse #Leo #Mother #power

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